Brain First: The Habit That Stops Kids Outsourcing Their Thinking
I asked an eight-year-old what questions she has for AI. She did not need time to think. Ten came out, one after another:
- “Why do we have dreams?”
- “What is the biggest animal ever?”
- “Can you make up a funny name for a dragon?”
- “What should I draw?”
- “What should I do when I’m bored?”
- “Do you have a favorite animal?”
- “Are you a real person?”
- “Can you help me with this math problem?”
- “Why do dogs wag their tails?”
- “Who would win, a lion or a tiger?”
She already uses it for the small things that come up in her day. If she hurts her foot, she might ask it, “I hurt my foot. How long until it gets better?” She has asked it how to part her hair in the middle.
None of that is alarming. What made me write this was what happened when I turned two of her questions back to her.
What she said when I asked her first
I asked her why we have dreams. What did she think?
“I don’t know. I think your brain is still doing stuff when you’re asleep and then you see it.”
That is a good answer. Scientists still argue about why we dream, and nobody has settled it, but her starting point (the brain keeps working while you sleep, and some of that work shows up as pictures) is a fair first step toward what they do know. She opened with “I don’t know” and then, in the same breath, told me something she did know.
Then I asked her what she should do when she’s bored.
“I just watch YouTube. Or I draw. Sometimes I watch craft videos and make the thing.”
What kind of crafts? “Just paper stuff and things like that.”
She had three answers ready, and one of them was drawing. Right before it on her list was “What should I draw?” She had a plan for a bored afternoon in her head already, and she was about to ask a machine for one.
Where outsourcing starts
When parents worry about children outsourcing their thinking, they usually picture homework, the essay a chatbot wrote. That comes later. For a child her age, it starts with the order things happen in.
If the question goes to the machine first, the child never finds out what she already had. The answer arrives, it sounds fine, and her own guess never gets said out loud. My worry is what that does over a few hundred questions: “I don’t know” turns into the signal to go and ask, when for her it was the start of an answer.
The fix fits in one sentence, and it is the first habit in what we call Brain First:
“What do you think? Tell me your guess first, and then we’ll ask it.”
Guessing first does a second job. A child with a guess has something to compare the answer against; without one, there is nothing to notice when the answer is wrong. In the last article, a seven-year-old told me AI answers are true because nobody is behind them. Catching it being wrong is how that belief gets fixed, and catching it is much easier when you had your own answer first.
Her ten questions, sorted
Once she had answered two of them herself, her list fell into piles. Your child’s list will probably sort the same way.
The first pile is questions her own brain can answer: a funny name for a dragon, what to draw, what to do when she’s bored. The machine will give perfectly good answers to all three, and then the dragon’s name is not hers. This is the third Brain First habit, Keep It Human. Your ideas, your first try and your apology stay yours. When one of these comes up, hand it back: “That’s one for your brain. What have you got?”
The second pile is questions to guess first and then check: dreams, the biggest animal ever, why dogs wag their tails, lion or tiger. She says her guess, you ask together, and then you compare. Two of these are especially good practice. Nobody knows for certain why we dream, and nobody can say who would win between a lion and a tiger. Ask the machine and listen for whether it says so, or whether it picks an answer and sounds as sure as it does about everything else. That is Check It, the second habit, and it is easier to believe when a child hears the difference for herself.
The third pile is questions for a person. “I hurt my foot. How long until it gets better?” is a question for a grown-up first. The machine cannot see her foot. You can. The math problem goes here as well: it can help her understand the problem, but she should try it first and then say which part she is stuck on. Even the hair question is a better one for somebody standing behind her with a comb.
That leaves “Do you have a favorite animal?” and “Are you a real person?” Those are questions about the machine itself. She is checking whether anyone is in there, which the seven-year-old had already worked out on his own. Ask your child what they think before the machine gets a turn at that one, too.
How to start the habit this week
- Before any question goes in, ask “What do you think?” Every time, for one week, even for the small ones.
- Take “I don’t know” as the beginning. Follow it with “If you had to guess?” She said “I don’t know” and then answered anyway.
- Get the guess said out loud, or written down, before the answer comes. A guess that was only thought is easy to swap for the machine’s without noticing.
- Afterward, compare: “Was yours the same? Which one do you like better?” Sometimes they will like their own better. Let them.
- Keep some questions out of the machine entirely. Their ideas and their bored afternoons are theirs to come up with.
One eight-year-old, and your own child
She is one child and this was one conversation. I am not going to call it research.
What it showed me is that she was never short of thoughts. Asked first, she had a theory about dreams and three plans for boredom. The machine was simply getting asked before she was.
So try what I did. Ask your child what questions they have for AI, and write the list down. Then pick two and ask, “What do you think?” before anybody types anything. They may already have more answers than you expected.